


new disease in me

by dayevsphil



Series: side b: masterpiece theatre (amnesia au timestamps) [7]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Established Relationship, Family, Introspection, M/M, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:14:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21704302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dayevsphil/pseuds/dayevsphil
Summary: Phil doesn't know how to talk to his brother about this. That's okay - Martyn doesn't know how, either. Amnesia AU timestamp.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: side b: masterpiece theatre (amnesia au timestamps) [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1559110
Comments: 8
Kudos: 114





	new disease in me

**Author's Note:**

> set in part two of amnesia au, which you can read [here](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1449553) if you're not familiar with it! 
> 
> prompted by oriharakaoru <3
> 
> read and reblog on tumblr [here!](https://dayevsphil.tumblr.com/post/189528180613/new-disease-in-me)

Phil takes the dishes to the sink and starts to fill it, rolling up his sleeves as he does. He does know how to use their dishwasher - after some trial and error - but he needs this moment to breathe.

The sound of the running tap drowns out the hum of conversation coming from the table. Dan and Martyn are laughing and chatting and generally getting on in a way that Phil is relieved by. He doesn’t actually need his family’s approval or anything, especially not after he’s seen exactly how intertwined his life is with Dan’s, but it’s nice to see that Martyn doesn’t just tolerate Phil’s life partner. He likes Dan and doesn’t even bat an eye when they show affection.

Cornelia sings softly under her breath, clearing away the mess from when Phil cooked. She closes the cupboards with the air of someone who has to do it every day of her life. Phil thinks of the way his dad follows his mum around the kitchen sometimes, shutting drawers and putting things away as she goes through like a small hurricane.

She doesn’t ask him questions, she just takes a tea towel and dries the dishes he passes her. Phil is surprised by how comfortable he feels with her so quickly, but it’s the same thing that happened with Dan. He doesn’t know her, but she knows him, and she’s filling the space between them with open arms. It’s not like his parents when they call, not like the look Martyn’s been giving him over their plates all night. Cornelia doesn’t expect anything from Phil and he doesn’t know her well enough to see if that’s a facade.

Once the dishes are put away, Cornelia excuses herself to the loo with a squeeze of Phil’s arm, and Phil is alone with the clean kitchen for all of five seconds.

“Hey,” Martyn says, leaning on the breakfast bar and raising his eyebrows in a silent ‘you okay?’ sort of gesture.

“It’s nice to have you over, Mar,” says Phil. He needs to do something with his hands, so he puts the kettle on. It’s yet another habit he’s picked up from years of watching his mum, something he isn’t even sure he’d still do if his childhood didn’t feel so close.

“It is nice,” Martyn agrees easily. “We should do this more often.”

“Do we not hang out much?” Phil asks. The possibility that he and his brother have somehow grown apart isn’t a pleasant one, especially as they live in the same city.

Martyn laughs like it’s the best joke in the world, and Phil’s anxiety settles. “I’m sure Dan’s already told you we work together, mate, and I don’t want to shove you out the window when we hang outside of that yet, so… we probably hang out too much, if you ask people who don’t get on with their brothers.”

“Do you anticipate getting to the point of shoving me out the window?” Phil asks curiously.

“Yeah,” says Martyn. “Next time you make me negotiate embroidery fees on something that could easily be screenprinted, you’re getting booted out the nearest one.”

“I don’t know what that means,” Phil admits.

“Fucking, that right there’s a good thing that you can’t remember,” Martyn says with the kind of forced dryness that Phil only recognises because he knows his brother so well. He can tell that Martyn doesn’t want to have a serious conversation any more than he does, that it makes him feel wrongfooted to make a direct reference to Phil’s brain injury. “Because, er, that’s an argument we have every couple of months. I’ve been tearing my hair out over this thing Dan has in the works. Or, had, I suppose. Not sure if he’s still got a timeline for that project or what.”

Phil hasn’t thought about Dan having personal projects. Dan has spent their weeks together explaining their careers and everything that’s been branched off of that, but Phil can’t remember a single time that Dan didn’t use ‘we’ like he’s been so wont to do. He wonders if he’s holding Dan back. The thought isn’t a pleasant one. Phil falls quiet as he thinks about it, pouring four mugs and wondering if Martyn still takes his tea the same way he used to.

The last time Phil remembers seeing Martyn, they were sneaking out to the garden to avoid their parents having friends round. Phil had talked about uni and made up constellations while Martyn smoked and nodded in all the right places, cracking jokes that weren’t even funny but had both of them in fits before long.

Now they’re both standing in a kitchen that’s as oddly unfamiliar to Phil as the lines around his brother’s eyes, and both of them are unsettled by their own mess of thoughts. There’s a moment where Martyn takes a deep breath and Phil thinks in some mixture of panic and relief that they’re about to really get into it and _talk_ , but then Martyn simply says, “Think I’m up for some dessert. What about you?”

“Always,” Phil says, hiking his best grin back onto his face and watching as Martyn mirrors it.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to chicken and to everybody reading along and being so kind <3 i don't have the energy to respond to every comment but trust me i'm reading them and crying every day


End file.
